20-20

Do your glances shy my way? Maybe

a peek,

a stolen stare,

an unsaid message sent through those warm chocolate

eyes, do they burn?

As they trace my mouth's curves and lines,

seeing closely if they're bent towards the sky.

Does your vision pause

for a lingering second,

for a fleeting while,

amidst the heavy smoke and bottled laughter,

to stare and wonder how

luck, can bring such fortune by your side?

Do your glances shy my way? Maybe.

For I want to know if

your eyes suffer,

the same clumsy sickness as mine.

**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**

It's almost 8AM but the sky looks like it's only 6AM. Maybe it's the weather or maybe I've seen too much K/Jdramas recently that I wanted to try writing a poem again. It's been a while since I last tried writing one. The idea on'20-20' was actually from a long standing question I have regarding some cheesy stuff that you probably would rather not know and I would rather not tell. xD

What I Want To Do

... is watch anime.

I miss watching slice-of-life type of anime like Nodame Cantabile and Honey and Clover. All that has been coming out lately are more of the shounen type, which I hate. Ew. I've had enough of Bleach, Naruto and One Piece. The last shounen series that I've tried watching was Durara. It does deserve to be the Anime of 2010 by the website Metanorn but I dropped it after watching a couple of episodes. Ugh, I guess I'm getting too old for their type.

I've been on the very early morning shift (3:00AM) recently and I got some time to browse. I find myself browsing for Noda Megumi and Hagu. I really miss watching well built characters. T_T

Work-(Love)Life Balance is Happiness

Oh wow! It's been a while since my last post. I've never been good at expressing happiness down to words, that's why I've left this blog outdated. Teehee, gomen ne. :D

I think this happiness is brought by the fact that I'm loving my job at the moment and that HP is standing by its' promise to give work-life balance to its' employees. Or maybe I'm just darn lucky to get an account which has Saturdays and Sundays as rest days and a role that mostly deals with emails than calls. Whichever it is, I'm planning to make the most out of this luck. I'm thinking of taking this career on a different level by switching to SAP or UNIX by the end of the year together with my friend Vicky. Our mid-year assessment is currently rolling and I'm planning to mention this plan to our Manager once my turn comes. Mass Comm grad turned IT, not bad, eh?

Arvin and I also celebrated our 10th year last April. I kinda anticipated a marriage proposal but it didn't happen. Oh well, he said it's because I'm a party pooper. I asked him about our marriage plans a week before our anniversary and ended up having a teary discussion to why we still can't mess things up settle down. Hehe, forgive me, I'm really like this. I'm impatient when it comes to things I'm really excited about. BUAHAHAHAHA. There, I said it. I'm already thinking of getting married. Pffft. I blame you, Marichu and Nards for this!!! (Haha!)

You see, I went to their love nest and was able to observe how things are working out for the newlyweds. Suddenly I felt so warm imagining myself spending my lazy rest days with Arvin.

Comfy sofa.

Mushy DVDs.

Food he made.

Him.

So I thought, "Hey, that's nice."

And so one day, my so-called juicy imagination which has been tickling my heart for days, finally made its' way to my mouth and pushed me to ask him, "When are we going to get married?" over a KFC dinner. I wish I took a picture of Arvin's face, it was awesome. xD

Anyway, we know we're getting there someday but we just don't know when and how. I would openly admit now that this topic gets me depressed most of the time but whenever that happens, I always remember what Arvin told me on the night of our 10th year. After reminiscing the past, he said, "I know you're OK with a simple wedding but I want to give you a kind of wedding you deserve." Then he hugged me all night with pure wholesome loving that melted my heart. :)

So there! Forgive the mushiness of the last part! Hahaha.. :D

My, oh my~ :D

Of Past, Plans and Infinity

Hello 2011! Even though I'm kinda late in welcoming you to my blog, please do not take it against me and give me a hard time like what 2009 did. I didn't get along with 2009 very much but you, we've only been together for 15 days yet I feel like you're someone I can be good friends with this year. I think we can work things out pretty well and that's good to know, right?

Emotion with a Z.. :D

I would always have the graphic novel The Dream Hunters (collaboration by Yoshitaka Amano and Neil Gaiman) to thank for in my discovery of Zhang Jingna.

I was amazed by the Amano - Gaiman combination so I wanted to see other artworks that would depict the beauty and grace of the Fox in the story that I fell in love with. (Please purchase the novel if you're interested to know the story! :D) I searched randomly for tags like "fox", "dream hunters", etc in DeviantArt.com when I found Jingna's interpretation of the Fox:

Image scanned by a friend.

I was blown away. It's as if the Fox went to her studio and asked Zhang Jingna to take her pictures. Her interpretation captured what I imagined the fox's appearance and demeanor would be if she's real. :D I browsed through her gallery and instantly became a fan. 'zemotion's gallery is a feast for the eyes, I am telling you. (click on the link to visit her complete list of works.)

But after the "Ooohhhh~" and the "Wow!" I thought, "Yeah, so she's just another good photographer. Big deal." I was ready to shrug her existence off again and move on but as I read her blog (which I follow), she slowly turned into an inspiration. I laughed at her silly dream of becoming a Gundam pilot, pleased to know that she also loves Japanese culture and felt hopeful when she revealed what her equipments were when she was just starting her photography career (For I am dreaming to enter the world of photography too.. :D). I was also humbled by her life experiences, they weren't easy but she survived. :)

So, I like her photography because I think it radiates her personality. Strong, passionate and definitely amazing.. :)

And here's my Strike Freedom, I asked him to do a cute pose for you.. :D Smile, Ms. Zhang Jingna, please know that somebody here in Manila continues to dream and you're one of the reasons why.

Firefly Dreamages~ ^0^/"/

Nathan and I were talking about pictures through SMS a while ago. Being the late bloomer that he is, he was rumbling about how pictures prolong memories and how it can be passed on to the next generation, of course assuming that they would be interested enough to look at them. And being the blunt me whenever he's around, I said: "I thought you'll never realize. Late boomer ka talaga, noh?". Teehee, Forgive me, Tan. You're the only person I do consider a friend during my two-year stay at CVG and I hope that you do know the reason behind my bluntness towards you is affection. Yeah, a crazy, kinda messed-up way of showing my lurrrvvve. *heart* We've always had that "what-you-see-is-what-you-get" friendship and you're the only person in this whole wide universe who would be lukaret enough to ask me to buy a "you-know-what" from Recto for him. I always cringe at the memory but it was somehow refreshing since it's a complete 180 from my usual wholesome image. LOL.

Yes, pictures are memories so you need to make and take lots and lots. Let me tell you, when I was scheduled for an interview for the photographer post I applied for months ago, I was thinking for an appropriate answer to come up with in case they ask why I'm into photography. I was ready to answer, to capture memories. Yuck, that sounded like an ad for Kodak. Hoho, but yeah, cheesy as it may sound that would have been my answer. Luckily, they asked me more important questions like "Do you usually dress up like that?". I was wearing my usual jeans and t-shirt since their job ad mentioned something about being one's self, so I said "Yeah." Hmmn, maybe that was the reason why I didn't get the post. Lol. Maybe they should rename their company, The Modelling Agency instead of "The P------ ------y". Or maybe I shouldn't be too stupid either, and update my resume with the correct contact number. But that's a different story. OTL

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Well, anyway, there I go again. Incoherent is incoherent. :p

As a finishing touch, I bring you the ice cream on top of the mumbo jumbo:

http://essiehime.tumblr.com/

Firefly Dreamages.. :)

Shameless promotion of the new photo blog.. :)

What, a girl can dream, right? :D

In search for Infinity

If reading too much about cameras could cause somebody to cough out blood, then I would have died on a pool of my own blood right now. A sea of deep, thick, slimy blood that screams of the owner's masochistic torture of self-induced GASing.

You see, I've been searching for the perfect camera to replace my sacrificial lamb, Nirvana, for weeks now. After giving my enlightenment away to some anti-social gadget freak in exchange for some cash, I went ahead and searched for my Mugen. From tipidpc.com to sulit.com.ph to henryscameraphoto.com, Chrome-san already knows them by heart. It's been my daily routine for the last 2-3 weeks. Even my cousin asked me what do I get from staring at the prices of cameras all day, I said "I was hoping they would magically go down so I could buy one." But of course, they don't and what would magically appear were the little auras I get whenever I have a migraine. If I feel the need to stretch and go out, I would go to my Mecca and have blood oozing out from my eyes and ears instead. I've been to 24k, Meyer's, Henry's, M20, Avenue and all the other camera stores in Hidalgo, I could tell which stores offer which by now so call me the "Hidalgo-hime". All hail the Hidalgo-himesama! OTL

I was so desperate that I even ditched a meet-up with a friend to kiss someone's you-know-what, hoping to please that someone so she could become my Daddy Long Legs and I, her Judy Abbott. See? The lowest of the low.

But what can I do? This is the first time my heart thumped for something aside from paper bishounen. It's thumping so hard that I can barely sleep at night, it beats so fast that it hurts. Whenever I close my eyes, I could see images

Of Ichu's swelling belly

Of Utoy, Jigen and Yael's smiles

Of the moments I might miss

So I stay up, stare at the numbers

and dream awake.