"What we want is usually more than what we need.."

- Starbucks 2009 planner

I got my first plastic card March of 2005. I was so pleased that I took a picture of it together with my newly manicured nails. I've forgotten where the picture is and I lost the card recently due to stupidity but I'm still being haunted by the 5-digit electronic money I spent. So as much as I want to stay hidden inside my animated world, my now resting-in-peace cash back Citibank card is forcing it's way in to my realm and dragging me back into reality.

It's really really sad that temptation and stupidity got into my better judgment of myself. I've always known that I have a Becky Bloomwood in me, lurking, waiting and ready to pounce once given a chance and darn she did overtake the quiet and gentle essiehime (come on people, you know I'm quiet and gentle!). Yeah sure, I am capable of paying the dues but heck, I could've bought a laptop, a new monitor for my desktop, a PSP or even a new smart phone I've been drooling on for months if I've saved all the okane I've been paying those sharks in suits for the past years.

Stupid, stupid Essie!

I'm trying to smile my way out of this troublesome feat but I'm really having a hard time. Everytime I remember how much I owe those @#!$#, I want to raise hell and go to their office kicking and screaming. But hey, I've learned that everytime you point a finger on others, the rest of the fingers (or at least 3 of them) are pointing back at you. No, not you. Me. Yes, me. The unbelievably stupid Essie.




Mood:

"You-don't-want-to-mess-with-me" mood.

*forgive my incoherent tenses, I really need to brush up my writing on top of my need to improve on my baka-jap grammers. Ugh!