Wednesday, September 2, 2009

There goes my hero, watch him as he goes..

Firefly stories
77 Posts, last published on Jun 21, 2009 – View Blog View Blog in New Window


O_o

So.. It's been 2 months, huh. Now that's lazy. Lazy Essie, it sure rhymes. (LOL, nonsense.)

Anyway, (I promised not to start the next sentence with 'anyway' but I still did it! Gah! Lemme try again! xD)

The truth is, July and August have been very productive months. I've been very busy reading mangas, as well as Gaiman and Murakami, watching bishies that would be gay if they were real and taking pictures of my more-than-willing-to-model-for-pictures-they-can-post-on-Facebook cousins. See? So dear Blogspot, please don't come kicking and screaming at me, demanding I post something up your site. I even think that the more appropriate word for the past two months is exhausting, I've been exhausting my eyes from reading 1/2 Ouji to meet my daily dose of B Vitamins, go figure!, watching Lelouch use his Geass on poor Yuffie and for my sanity's sake, it's pronounced as 'gee' - 'as', not like the 1st word of an obsolete shampoo, not like a duck or worse, a transvestite's bottom! and worrying about the cat-like rodent that's been creeping up and about our house since my Popsie passed away.

Huh? Oh yeah. Papa did pass away last July.

Fine. Sheesh, you see Blogspot, after all those essential activities I've been doing, the real reason why I don't want to post anything here is because I'll start to write how much I miss Popsie. Every time I sing, I remember listening to Papa's cassette tape of Neil Sedaka. He said he was part of the choir back his elementary school days and I got my voice from him because Mama has always been tone deaf. Every time I get home from work, I still anticipate seeing him on his favorite chair by his vulcanizing shop either sleeping while seated or smiling at me to ask if I've had my lunch already. When I sleep, I would suddenly wake and look at the window by my room where Papa would usually spend humid afternoons to cool off. I don't even want to celebrate my birthday this year because he's no longer here to recount the day I was lost in the cemetery and how he rushed and left his lunch untouched when he received the phone call from the cemetery help desk. Thinking about all these memories make me want to leave reality and escape with my paper and tube fantasies. It's overwhelming.

But every time I am being overwhelmed by these thoughts, I stop and think, if this is too painful for me, what about Mama's pain? She's been with him since forever and losing half of your body, heart and soul is no joke. I really regret saying "Ma, andito pa naman kami eh.." because now I understand how we, their children, were merely stars in the universe of togetherness they have created way before our existence.


So with that, I stop and leave unnecessary things behind to I can support Mama.

I'll be leaving work. LOL. Haha. (sorry, the teary-eyed me can't take it any longer so, again, I escape to laughter.. :D)

I've been away from work for some days now because of some drama I'd rather forget but seriously speaking, I've found something of interest lately and I'm really hoping that I can work some things out with Morpheus (think Gaiman's Sandman, not Matrix!) before this year ends so I can start my 2010 with a brighter smile.. :3

Ooooh, this is a rather lengthy post..

Hey, if you've been to Papa's wake or interment or have offered a prayer for him, or remembered him, or skipped lunch so you can put something inside that little white envelope, or played terembe so that the terembe dealer can give us tong (no, not the skimpy underwear!), or have been drunk silly that night and caused commotions, everybody who supported us in their own little big ways, a heartfelt THANK YOU. *huggles* It's rather late, but as I've said, I've been very, eherm, busy.. :p We really really really really appreciate the time and effort.



.. and to you Popsie, until we meet again..



Mood: Thoughtful

5 comments:

pawdough said...

*HUGS TIGHT*

Romeskie said...

(teary-eyed)

hungry_young_poet said...

love you, tolskie.. huuuuuuugg!

えすたひめ essie-hime said...

thanks guys.. *big bear hugs*

Unknown said...

Binchee likes this.

(kunyari facebook, hehe)

Cheer up Firefly. :)